In pursuit of happiness...

On a particularly disturbing dreary evening, I sat staring at the sea thinking about things that pushed me into this abysmal agony. It was then I realized there were irritants bothering me and I'm in pursuit of happiness... Life is hard. Life is harsh. Life is cruel. So? When did anyone ever say life is easy? Life is like that bhai! Since you can't quit right now, you may as well enjoy!

But, I wondered, how can one be happy always amid such frenzy and agony? Quite simple actually, if you set your mind to it! I believe 'Ignorance is bliss,' and what doesn't touch (reach) you doesn't (should't) hurt you. Okay let me make it simpler and clearer.

Life, to me, is a gift to be enjoyed and not wasted away! And I've a few mantras for happiness. They work for me; I hope some of these work for you too...

10. See the sea and the sun: I don't mean that you travel hundreds of miles to look at the sea literally! A quick break away from stress and buzz is all you need to rejuvenate and reinvent yourself. Just an hour off from work will enable you to watch the setting sun with a new joy.

9. Happiness is within, not with or without: Don't you think so? How can the presence or absence of something or someone make you happy/unhappy? Nobody can ever take away what you have within yourself - your core, inner strength, beauty, power, confidence, the meaning of your existence. Try a quick inward introspective session. It really helps to see what you actually want and what can make you, and keep you, happy.

8. Nobody besides yourself can make you sad: Trust me on this one! It's not what others say or do that agonizes you. It's your reaction to those words or actions and your willingness to wallow in pain and misery that make you unhappy. If you're okay doing this, then don't blame "others" for making a puppet of you and playing with your emotions, feelings, and heart as it's you who left the reins of your life in someone else's hands.

7. Hug a child (even if it's not your own): Children have the natural ability to spread cheer and happiness. So when life looks down on you, you look up to a child and bring that pleasant smile back on your face.

6. Small joys are better than bigger goals: Agreed you want to own a chain of businesses a la the Birlas or the Tatas. But while working towards your life's biggest goal, ignoring smaller joys will rob you of greater happiness. Take time out to enjoy a pleasant evening with family, the first drops of rainfall, a bunch of roses, your child's first words/ steps, good movies or music, a nice cup of hot coffee...

5. Chhodo kal ki baatein... : ...Kal ki baat purani ! Always think ahead, and avoid living in the past. The only good thing about the past is that it gives you enough experience and lessons about not repeating your mistakes. Beyond that, there's no point in looking back. Forgive, forget and move on!

4. Weed out irritants from your life garden: Don't give scope for bad thoughts, irritable people, and artificial obligatory relationships. Remember weeds of all kinds need to be plucked out if you want to save your garden. Never make the mistake of maintaining money-based relationships - they're dicey and they don't last long.

3. It's okay to pursue material comforts: True, money and material comforts are not as important as people and relationships. But if these can bring you momentary happiness and make your day, you may as well work towards gaining them before turning philosophers. Nobody can be a good karma yogi without being a good bhogi (pleasure seeker). If you're eying the new BMW/ Porsche, Prada accessories, new freaky gadget, a bicycle worth a few lakhs, and acquiring it is your only mantra for happiness, let that be so. Work out your strategies around that pursuit.

2. Pursue a hobby: Music is my biggest 'H' factor. It helps me unwind quicker and better. Sing along aloud, listen quietly, or just cry your heart out - whatever it takes to be normal. If gardening does the trick for you, go ahead! Sports. Swimming. Dancing. Writing. Reading. Anything. Do something that makes you genuinely happy.

1. Get tired, and feel rejuvenated: It could be a long workout session in the gym to tone your body, pump your muscles, or the works. It could also be a brisk walk/ jog regimen in the nearest park. Or, better still, a relaxing between-the-sheets activity helps the release of much-needed Endorphins in your body and keeps your spirits up. [Don't trust me? Check Wikipedia :).]

So, what do you think? Have more such, or better, mantras? Please do share your tips to drive away depression and make us happier :) !!

Ankhiyon ke jharokhon se...

... maine dekha jo saanware tum dur nazar aaye badi dur nazar aaye

Bandh karke jharokhon ko zara baithi jo sochne mann mein tumhi muskaaye...

Ek tere bharose pe sab baithi hoon bhool ke, yunhi umar guzar jaaye tere saath guzar jaaye...

What is love? Kya hai pyaar? I have been trying, unsuccessfully for years, to find the answer. The question keeps coming back to me every Valentine's Day (which has gained much significance and many commercial shades in the recent years). Okay, this is not about Valentine's Day.

This is about love actually! The various facets of this feeling, sentiment, emotion. I do not know what I'm seeking either. Except that I kept rediscovering love - many times over - in the past three decades. Each time I lost faith in this institution, miracles kept happening most unexpectedly to remind me that there's enough love in the world if you open your mind to welcome it. So here I am exploring love and its different angles.

When I was just a baby - my dad used to tell me at every opportunity - mom used to hold me in her lap and sit up the whole night so I don't wake up crying... isn't that love? When my baby brother was born, she made sure I had some exclusive time with him so I don't feel envious and deprived... I still remember his tiny pink fingers wrapped around my index finger, and the smile of recognition that dawned on his face when his eyes spotted any of us... wasn't that love?

When mom was angry with my bro and refused to give him food as punishment, I still remember the pain of a five-year-old sister when her brother's hunger showed on his teary face, the happiness of feeding him secretly in the kitchen, and braving mom's whacking with a contented smile later, scribbling silly sorry notes when mom ordered us not to talk to each other following a fight... if all these can't be described as acts of love, I wonder what else can be?

And, my whole perspective on love changed when I became a teenager. But of course! Love then acquired a new color, flavor, and meaning... everything turned more brighter, better, and meaningful (hmmmm!!!) when I tasted the sweetness of teenage love. With stars twinkling in my eyes, music reverberating in my ears, rhythmic dance moves in my steps, the world ceased to be the same... and I thought it was love - forever, and ever-lasting!

But it was not to be so. That was my first bitter experience of love, life, people, and relationships... the first time I lost love for life. Broken relationships are never easy to handle... especially if it's a precious seven-year-long one. And the ensuing misery is best forgotten...

It took an angel's gentle intervention to wipe my tears clean and walk me into the sunset, hand in hand. His love was not just a soothing balm on my wounds but it was the best and most beautiful experience of bringing together difficult and strangest permutation(s) of all kinds of love - fatherly, motherly, brotherly, friendly, loverly, husbandly, childly, sexual, Godly, lusty, angelic - arranged in an amazingly absurd and asymmetrical array, exclusively for me.

A generous dose of love, many words of care, a soothing touch, acts of affection, understanding, gratitude, a sprinkling of warmth, a splash of color(s), rose petals, moonlight, sunshine, moments of confusion, darkness, grief, loneliness, kindness, life's bitter-sweet offerings, purchases, sales, despair, hope, trust, confidence, lust, anger, depression, insecurity, spring, telepathy, tenderness, celebrations, compromises, sacrifices, separateness, memories, shared passions, and an eternity of togetherness later, love - I realized with satisfaction - is a beautiful package of many little things, prospects, actions, and words.

Love to me is not about who you want to live with, but it's more about who you cannot live without. So, I guess, I finally figured the answer too - however vague it might be! And I do know one thing for sure...

It is this love that still binds me to myself, to the world, to God, to relationships, to emotions, to life, and to everything that I can call bliss. And to that charming angel (no prizes for guessing who) I dedicate my pyaar-bhara post with a tear in my eye, blush on my cheek, happiness in my heart, and pleasure in each nerve and sinew...

P.S: I love you! (... Valentine's or no Valentine's)