My Messiah; My Guardian Angel

I wanted to share one of the best experiences of the Hyderabadi tehzeeb/ culture I've had from people who belong to 'the other community'.

I still remember the day I was lost and kept driving in the inner lanes and dusty gallis around Tolichowki and Film Nagar without knowing the way to my home. I lost track of time; it was getting dark. I must have been driving for the past 2 hours, searching for the right galli that takes me to the main road. I was almost in tears.

And then comes my Messiah, a handsome Muslim engineer-architect on his bike. I guess he had seen me looking worried and exhausted, slowing down my vehicle to ask people for directions. "Ma'am where exactly do you have to go?" he asked me. My first instinct was to mistrust. But I felt safe inside my cherry red Maruti 800. And I told him where I've to go. He just said, "Please follow me". I followed - but not blindly, not without suspicion, and definitely not before rolling up my windows completely!

After many windings and unwindings of the dusty gallis, there I was on the main road of Tolichowki. I was so lost, so confused and so tired that I had absolutely no sense of direction nor the ability to recognize the area we were in. I just gave a blank look and said, "I still don't know where I'm". He smiled ever so gently, pointed his right hand to the building a little ahead and said, "that's your apartment complex ma'am".

Guilt more than gratitude rushed through my veins. I had this strong desire to say 'I'm sorry I didn't trust you.' But I just managed a feeble 'Thanks a lot for your help.' My guardian angel smiled again, took out his visiting card and said, "If you still feel lost, or need help, please don't hesitate to call me. I stay close-by." And with that, he left.

That day I've learned an extremely valuable lesson in life! Never mistrust a person based on his community, appearance or clothes.

Minority? Really?!

Has one incident in a different city changed the thought process and tehzeeb of Hyderabad? I wonder in amazement!

Just two days after the Mumbai attacks, I was waiting for an auto and for the first time in all the years I've spent in Hyderabad (which is from the time I was born to date) I was in for a shock when two Muslim auto-drivers showed me the other side of the coin.

The first one I stopped said, "Tereko jahan jaana hai wahan pe koi meter se nahin chalta", when I asked him if he has the new meter or the old one, and refused to go. The second one was willing to go but when I had asked him to stop smoking - I can't stand the smell - not only did he refuse to let go of his cigarette, but was also very rude when he said, "agar tumko cigarette pasand nahi tho meter dalne se pehle bolna tha na, phir main aata hi nahin"!!!

Two rude remarks in one day?! It actually got me thinking... are these people part of the community that claims to be 'the minority group'? Aren't they very much part of my country, my city, my society, my life?

I know what it feels like to be a minority. Having experienced rude racist comments from bus drivers to homeless vagabonds in San Francisco, with no way/inclination to retaliate, I totally understand and sympathize with people who feel helpless, feel like a minority.

The minority group almost always feels like they don't belong - to a nation, city or society. They're helpless; they're isolated; they're distant; they're aloof; and they're restless!!!

What's with our Hyderabadis then? When an auto-driver whose bread and butter depends on the number of times he downs the meter can be rude to a customer and get away with it, how can people still say they are minority and they don't belong?

I can vouch for the fact that I've never before experienced this kind of rudeness from Muslim auto-drivers. In fact, people from my own community are often rude - right from bus-drivers, conductors and auto-drivers, to artisans, maids, and cops!!! Their eyes haunt, do a thorough scan, their words often offensive, and their language crude.

On the contrary, my experience with Muslim auto-drivers had always been pleasant. Whenever they saw me standing alone on the other side of the road waiting for an auto, they would take a U-turn and tell me politely, their eyes averted, or looking down at my shoes, "Aayiye amma" even before I told them where I need to go. They almost NEVER refuse to take me wherever I have to go, even if it is too much out of their way.

And it's a fact that I never felt half as comfortable waiting for a bus in Punjagutta at 7 p.m. as I was waiting alone in the bus stop in Mehdipatnam at 10 p.m. I always felt comfortable and safe in areas resided by Muslims - whether it is Mehdipatnam, Tolichowki or Charminar. I actually feel a lot unsafer and uncomfortable in places like Chikkadpally, Narayanaguda, and Nallakunta where people from my own community are predominant.

That's probably why I felt shocked. I was disturbed. And I started wondering if it was my dress, my sindhoor, and my bangles that suddenly made them aware of my religion, and called for attention, rudeness! I still don't have an answer!!!