In the era of... err... what can I say?

Okay! I agree there have been a spate of scams in the recent past - starting with CWG... So?

I woke up one fine day to realize that the Games that everyone was so excited about is as tainted as a tinted glass. I can still understand and empathize with the enthusiasm of every average Indian like me... and also sympathize with Mr. Kalmadi in the same breath. After all, it's a question of a whopping Rs. 160 crore. Now tell me which 'honest' person will not succumb to devilish temptation with such an amount at his disposal. It's really cruel and evil to think that s/he shouldn't. So, I have no problem with Mr. Kalmadi's theft... in fact, I think he's super cool and I appreciate his deftness, boldness, confidence and what not!

Next what do I hear of? The town is painted red with the news about the great Adarsh Housing Society scam! Where's the scam about that, I say! The poor CM was made to resign for such a small offence. He made just a few bucks for his services to his State. Big deal! Why should we grudge him his 'small benefit' for his huge sacrifices as a CM. Don't you realize how Mr. Chavan has had to sacrifice his time, energy, family life, career prospects, health, personal space, privacy, and everything else you can think of just to serve you all as the CM. What ungrateful fellas we all are!  

And just when I was coming to terms with a few 'minor' aberrations, the news about the 2G Spectrum scam hit the news stands and the channels. Wah Wah! India is progressing at a faster pace, I must admit. Here again, I've my sympathies with Mr. Raja and his DMK boss(es). I've no qualms about the Rs. 1.76-lakh crore that was laundered. Come on, so what if there's a loss to the exchequer, the money is gone into 'safe' hands. Trust me Mr. Raja, I'm with you on this!

And then I hear of another spectrum controversy - with ISRO being involved this time. This, I have to admit, was the only time I felt a bit shaky. I don't mind any organization being part of any scam - major or minor. I only don't want to lose sleep over the fear of an impending nuclear war. That's my only lookout. As long as I can have a relaxed and peaceful sleep at nights (or whenever I want to for that matter) without thinking about dark nights and bullet/ cannon sounds. What's the connection, you might ask! I don't know either. I just thought I'll make up some silly-yet-grand theory about ISRO misusing (err... I meant using) SLV technology to launch super wars against all super powers on Earth and Mars and Jupiter and Mercury. Sounds cool, na?   

All was well till the Radia tapes were out! Now what I really can't stand is the involvement of those stupid petty journalists. How dare they try to get themselves entangled in such a scummy scam mess! I don't hate corruption or corrupt people! But what I don't like is... getting caught! And what's worse, making a blatant show of it! Maybe, maybe... all this negative propaganda pays off the likes of BD in the end. Let's wait and watch! In the meantime, I wish BD and colleagues good luck! 

While on corruption, what about the sanctions given to her home State by our honorable Railway Minister, Madame Mamta? You call it partiality? I call it favoritism. You call it injustice? I call it diplomacy. You call it selfishness? I call it indirect self-interest. As simple as that. (Oh that also reminds me another slightly related incident...)

However, what I don't understand is why are Indians waking up suddenly, and crying hoarse for heaven's sake? Hasn't any of this happened before? Let's please go back to sleep and rest peacefully. Please play a deaf ear to everything around. That's much better and safer than taking to the streets, and showing (y)our discontent with protests akin to those being held at the moment by our fellow citizens across the globe. It's not really worth the effort, I'm telling you.

This is not the era of do or die. This is not even the era of live and let live. This is the era of enjoy and forget about everything else. This is the era of if you can't be happy, snatch the others' happiness too. Most importantly, this is the era of scams and make money schemes. And once you make the money, don't forget to stow it in super cool Swiss accounts. :P

So, why are you bent upon wasting your time? Stop acting NOW if you are thinking in terms of rallies, revolution, ending corruption, jaagte raho... It all sounds good on TV and in magazines. If you don't wanna pay heed to what I say, please keep me out of the consequences. And don't complain later that I didn't warn you!

What's my next adventure?

"Imagine yourself many years from today. Will you look at your life with even a little dismay?" 
- Michelle C. Ustaszeski

And that's exactly what I am trying to do - imagining myself many years from now... as a sexagenarian relaxing with a book (while Mozart composes brilliant pieces exclusively for me in the background) in a rocking chair in front of the fireplace in my very own study room with a shawl draped on my frail shoulders. Picture Perfect! That got me thinking - about quite a few things actually.

So what sort of woman am I? I still wander aimlessly, wondering aloud, in search of the right words to describe myself. With two love affairs, two marriages, a divorce, a daughter, and six jobs to my credit what's it that's driving me to push all the limits of a cocooned life I had experienced in the first 22 years of my life?

Despite the mental conditioning, the orthodox upbringing, the traditional environment in and around home, I guess I had secretly nurtured a spirit of adventure, confidence, individuality, hotheadedness, arrogance, ego, obstinacy, recklessness, pride, restlessness, and independence... without which I don't think I'd be where I'm today. Simply following my heart everywhere, comfortably making myself home in a nowhere land, picturing myself  as a senior citizen, and looking forward to my next adventure.

If it weren't for my rebellious nature combined with an adventurous attitude, I wouldn't have jumped headlong into another relationship/marriage after miserably failing the first time. Probably I wouldn't have thought of packing my bags without a second thought and moving to the countryside to try out yet another adventurous lifestyle - hitherto unknown to me. But... as always, I just followed my heart - without letting my head take control of my wants and dreams.

Never once did it occur to me that I'll be many many miles away - far from my hometown, my lovely bunch of friends, family, well-wishers, supporters, sympathizers, loved ones... in fact, all those who matter to me, and who believe I'm important to them! This isn't the first time that I'd recklessly embarked on a new journey - to live absolutely alone, except for a six-year-old chatter box for company - amid strangers under strangest circumstances.

If it weren't for my stupid sense of superiority, super confidence and trust in my own ability, I wouldn't have pushed the limits of my smooth-sailing life-boat, and sailed offshore! Am I regretting any of these happenings? Nope. Not at all. Quite the contrary actually. I'm enjoying every bit of it as I slowly learn to live each day. "If you don't think everyday is a great day, try going without one," says Jim Evans. How very true indeed! And I have this philosophy in life: everything I do, I do it for myself, for fun, for happiness, for experience - and in the process I learn some, I gain some, I lose some and I keep going. Just keep going, just keep going, just keep going...

Oh yes, I did hear a lot about patience being a virtue, patience paying off in the end, patience this patience that... like I care! Sincerely speaking, I've no patience. Absolutely none! All I knew in these 36 years of my life are impatience, restlessness, and impulsiveness. And I'm happy the way I am because it keeps me going - despite the hurt, the loss, the wound, the ego, the everything. True guys, I love myself and my attitude, and my sense of adventure. Because underneath all the layers of friendliness, sensitiveness, kindness, gentleness and all the other 'ness's, I'm as strong, as arrogant and as adamant as any princess of repute. :P 

So..., my ego prompts me every now and then, what's on your list next? Okay you tell me, what next?