Jeena yahan, marna yahan!

It was raining continuously for the past many days - with just a glint of sun rays in between. And what was I doing? Sitting at home and getting bored? Well, not really. I was enjoying every bit of it. I like the way life has slowed down for me. I feel like I'm on a different plane, or is it phase, right now. And I'm loving it for now. And when it rains continuously for three days... well, I guess a lot of people I know would get irritated with the idea of this unwarranted 'house arrest'.

Honestly, one should try it some time. Just sit at home - doing nothing, thinking of nothing, no internet, no phone, no distractions, no thoughts, no haunting memories, nothing that can bind you or tie you down. All you are aware of are the needs of a little daughter whose demands are small, and sweet! All I could think of during those rainy days was 'will the school bus come on time', 'what will my little princess like for breakfast today', 'will I be able to finish cooking and all the other household chores before she comes back from school', 'will these clothes ever dry - Gawd! I've another truckload waiting to be washed'...

Kind of house-wife-ish, as my friends love to tease me. But yes, I do love this totally domesticated version of myself. I do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of my child, shopping for groceries, going to the bank or the nearest ATM and get worked up about spending a lot of money without actually working towards refilling my account :(, fighting with the HP gas agent for days (unsuccessfully!!!) to get my gas transferred from Hyderabad - finally I got it yesterday after the long and agonising 20-day wait, visiting my in-laws whenever I can, etc.

And yes, my major worry in life now is the thought that I may not have enough time to sit and watch the sea for a little while longer - especially when it's raining, and the sea looks irresistibly beautiful. Don't get me started on the sea!!! It'll only be a never-ending saga of unsatiated love.

Sea always reminds me of the different phases of love... its varied emotions, facets, stages, and characteristics. Sometimes the sea seems very calm, soothing, and inviting. But there are times when it's extremely violent. Like today for instance. Am I scared? I guess not. I love the sea in spite of its terrible-n-wild mood swings.

I simply love the idea of dozing off to the lullaby of the waves gushing restlessly, and waking up to watch the orange-red ball rising up from beyond the vast expanse of water and getting brighter by the minute... all this just by opening my bedroom balcony door, or window. Words fall flat when I attempt to describe my emotional attachment to the sea. All I can say is I can spend the rest of my life happily just by sitting on the shore and looking at the sea.

Life is bliss...

Once you start living close to a water body so vast, you'll slowly learn to be aware of what's happening, and will grow sensitive to its moods. Today the sea was kind of calm when I got up, but I knew instinctively that beneath its depths there's a storm waiting to hit the shore.

What's going on inside its brain, if it has one, I wonder! Is it angry, or ecstatic, or miserable? Why is it calm? And why are the waves so violent so suddenly? Does the sea have feelings too? Is it emotionally disturbed? Or is it in a mood for some passionate love? I may never be able to guess, or understand. But do I really care?

Sitting here on the beach watching the violent surge of the waves, I've made my decision. Jeena yahan, marna yahan!!!

Too many singles, and circles...

"Life has come a full circle." Probably this is what it is... My current life!

Exactly a decade ago (on July 7, 1999), I started my married life as a new bride in a 500-sft single-bedroom apartment, paying Rs. 2000 towards the rent; and it still feels like yesterday! We've since then progressed to staying in a 1200-sft 2-bedroom flat, and then moved on to own a huge 1600-sft 3-bedroom flat.

And now, I'm back to staying in a single bedroom 500-sft house paying Rs. 2000 as the rent. :-) It's like starting all over again... right from buying utensils, pans and tawas, to selecting a new refrigerator and mixer-grinder, to debating about what kind of almirah to choose - everything feels the same as it felt 10 years ago.

Indeed life has come a full circle - with so many twists and turns in between, bitter-sweet memories, a naughty daughter brought into my life, another child awaiting adoption, a village waiting to be adopted, and a countryside sea-facing villa waiting to be constructed...

So what has changed now? A lot, I must say. I'm slowly realizing what it takes to be a single parent... understanding my daughter (and her needs that I was blissfully oblivious to so far) takes a lot of patience, energy, and time! I am yet to analyze where she gets all the energy to bounce about, run around, make mischief, and play 24X7 untiringly and effortlessly! Oh yes, before the rumour mills start working overtime, let me confirm that I'm still very much married (this is what my husband had to say on Father's Day) - and today I'm all set to celebrate our 10-year-journey together!

And I'm also realizing that long-distance relationships are difficult to maintain, and they take their toll on everything else. Suddenly there is loneliness, irritation, anger, hatred, mood swings, extreme reactions... my lovelorn soul wants to be soothed, and fed with its daily dose of love.

Nevertheless, as Saraswati Chandra pointed out a long while ago, Pyaar se bhi zaroori kayi kaam hai, pyaar sab kuch nahin zindagi ke liye...

'Such is life, and devotion to cause' - as a close friend rightly pointed out recently. And, truly, there are miles to go before I sleep... Yawn! And Amen!

A sleepy hamlet wakes up...

Beach towns are believed to be beautiful, laidback, and lethargic. Aren't they just supposed to be there - for tourists to spend, and the goverment(s) to make money?

And Gopalpur-on-sea is no different. It's a lazy man's haven with an amazing lethargic feel hanging in the air. Not much gets done here. Nothing progresses. The flyover under construction on the NH-5 road (on the Berhampur-Gopalpur road) has been in the same state for the past 4 years. Last week, on my way to Berhampur, I noticed that a few more stones were added to the make-shift divider in the middle of the road to stop commuters from using the muddy road under the flyover. Great! That's some progress from what I've seen during my jaunt the week before.

I must admit though that I've noticed a few major changes in the past 10 years during my yearly visits to this place. There are more top-less but undergarment-clad children who are out on the street playing cricket (which now is a popular sport than playing gilli-danda or swimming in the backwaters).

There are very few naked children, and fewer Siamese cats. However, the number of dogs has quadrupled - especially on the beach. These four-legged ones dare you, look you straight in the eye, and attack you if you don't want to part with a snack or two. But yes, they have to compete with the crows for the food thrown by tourists. Yeah, I have actually seen crows after ages!

I could also spot a handful of foreigners tasting vegetable chowmein and chicken roll at one or the other eateries on the beach. There are quite a few of those eating joints just like lodges and hotels.

And there are Tropicana Orange, Apple and Grape juice varieties available in 1-litre tetra packs now. You can also pick up a packet of the latest flavor launched by Lays - the Lemon and Masala Masti variant - from the local kirana store! And there are 4 Internet cafes within 100 metres of each other.

Villagers living here for centuries without much contact with the outside world now talk about their sons working in Australia, daughters getting married and moving to Abu Dhabi, and grandchildren joining a university abroad for further studies as naturally as talking about the current rate of fish, prawns, coconuts, mangoes, cashew, and flowers!

So, does that mean Gopalpur is slowly ceasing to be a fisherfolk hamlet and is taking its baby steps to embrace modernity? Only time will tell...

Lost in the mystery of nature!

(I had written this post on June 27th, two days before my daughter's new school opened... but I couldn't publish it then)

For a Saturday evening, the beach is quite empty - which I find very strange and intriguing. Equally strange is the domination of blues and greens today rather than the usual yellows, oranges and bright reds. It's powercut time and I'm sitting on the top-most step at the beach writing this post as fast as I can, to make sure I get all my thoughts in place before the battery in my laptop runs down.

About two dozen women clad in cool sequined saris in amazing color combos are seated around me chattering away in chaste Oriya, and peeping into my system exclaiming aloud 'She's busy typing'. I guess a couple of them tried saying something to me in their mother tongue but unfortunately I just can't strike a conversation with strangers, especially in an alien language. I guess Oriya, like Bengali or Marathi, is easier to understand if you pay a little attention and if you know Hindi well enough. But no, not right now. Not when I'm in a mood for some quiet conversation with my new-found love. :-)

It is fun to watch not just the sea but also the visitors - with their glittering gold ornaments, flashy green tees, and children dressed in China silk shirts/ tops. It's a lot more fun to watch these little ones slide down the cemented make-shift slide that separates each block of stairs.

Today, there are neither too many visitors nor their naughty children. Probably because it was cloudy in the afternoon, or because schools are going to be reopened in a couple of days.

Also conspicuous by its absence is the yellow-red van that supplies a hot cup of Nescafe instant coffee for just Rs. 3. Last week, while walking to the beach with my daughter and niece, I noticed this van and wanted to have some coffee - there was no milk at home and I didn't mind any hot liquid at that point. But just a sip was enough to realize that I wouldn't stop with just one cup. I insisted my niece has coffee too. On our way back home, I shared another coffee with my daughter. :-) Maybe I'll just go home and make my own coffee today.

Among many other things that I notice regularly on the beach are these vendors who sell jhaal-muri. It's fascinating to watch them carry out their business without a care in the world... it's worth watching how they manage to make the snack so fast with crows and dogs lurking around for the right chance to nick something from their customers. Even more fascinating is their balancing act when the waves start rising higher and higher.

Initially the tables are set closer to the water with a gasoline lamp (which have long since replaced the kerosene lamp), different boxes with various ingredients required to make the muri, newspapers, cutting board and a huge knife to chop onions, a wooden crate next to the table to throw the waste. As the sun sets and the waves start rising higher, one of the vendors carries the red plastic chairs, while the other one carries the lamp, and places it carefully at the foot of the steps. Then two of them carry the table while one of them balances the crate with one hand. It takes two trips and less than two minutes for the table to be re-set. The process is repeated once more when everything is brought to the top-most step as it gets dark - or it's time for them to call it a day!

It's 7.35 pm now, and the vendors - all four of them - are busy moving their stuff. Behind them, the sea looks super cool in shades of black & white. It wore a beautiful blue look this morning when the sun was bright and hot. But it turned greenish-gray later in the day as the clouds walked the sky, pouring down buckets of water on the lowly living beings beneath them. Sitting in my balcony, I couldn't take my eyes off the sea in the evening when the waves were spraying just a tiny layer of water all around - it looked as though dolphins were having a gala time showering and splashing water on their mates.

Of all the things that this beach town has taught me, observing, understanding, and becoming part of the nature is the most valuable lesson. Now all I can think of is this overwhelming desire to be lost in the depths of the sea, and become one with it in body, mind and soul!

The sea, the sand, and you...

I had written this piece on Gopalpur when I was working for The Hindu, and it was published in the newspaper's features supplement Metroplus on August 25, 2005:

Gopalpur-on-Sea in Orissa has no tourist infrastructure. But it is one place that can fit the 'heaven on earth' bill to a T. And if you are looking for a chill-out vacation in a serene spot, check this place out, which is along the seacoast.

It is an experience in itself to watch the serene shore and the rolling waves vying with each other for attention. The long endless walks on the seashore early in the morning, when you wake up to the chirping of the birds, can tell you what bliss is all about. The sea is so calm and shallow that you can actually walk about half a kilometre into the sea — barring high tides or during the monsoon. And, listen to the tales of the white sand.

Make sure you're on the beach when the fishermen haul in the catch. The best seafood here is the crabs. Green and big, they are sold in baskets covered with grass (beware of sellers who will show a big crab and pass on a small one). Seafood-lovers can buy their favourite fish/ prawn/ crab variety straight-out-of-the-sea and request the chef at the hotel to make it to order. It has been the tradition to serve tourists their meal-to-order ever since the first Oberoi hotel in the country, the Oberoi Palm Beach, was built.

The hotel no longer exists but you can see the building that housed it once.

Port town

Gopalpur used to be a big port town with a natural harbour from the days of the Kalinga rulers, and was the centre of trading activities, which continued even during the British rule. That trade was carried on with port towns such as Rangoon is evident in the unmistakable Siamese features found in the many cats that loiter around the streets here. Traders would bring back Siamese cats as gifts for their loved ones. Now there are no traders or their families; only the progeny of their feline beauties stand testimony to the days gone by.

After the tsunami hit the coast in December last year, the remnants of the pier built by the British are visible. Walk to one edge of the beach and you will come across the calm backwaters playing hide and seek with the sea. A boat ride between Gopalpur and Bandar, a little village, is quite an experience.

Tourists can make Gopalpur their base and travel to nearby places by road. Check out Barakul, 60 km from Gopalpur, a hamlet on one edge of the Chilka lake. The view is awesome. For Rs. 150, you can hire a boat that will take you to marshy islands where migratory birds flock. Persuade the boatman and he will take you to the edge of the lake where the sea swells smash on the shore and create ripples in the lake.

Taptapani, 75 km away, is another haven of hot springs. It is also one of the excursion spots frequented by school children in Orissa. Taratarini, a temple town 30 km away, is the abode of the deity Taratarini, a beautiful and restrained form of Shakti.

You can also go to Puri (which has, besides Lord Jagannath temple, a beautiful beach too) and Konark, which are approximately about 150 km from Gopalpur.

A quick-and-not-so-difficult drive to these places completes the itinerary of your holiday. And in an affordable way.

How to get there

Berhampur, 18 km away, is the nearest station to Gopalpur-on-Sea. There are local buses that commute between both the towns and drop you off at a kilometre from the sea. Just walk through the lane packed with small stores that sell groceries and fresh-from-the-sea catch, cameras, and souvenirs. Or for Rs. 120-Rs. 150 (it all depends on your bargaining capacity), you can travel by an autorickshaw from Berhampur that takes you right till the edge of the sea where there are some good hotels with comfortable rooms that offer you an excellent view of the sea.

Where to stay:
Pantnivas (0680-2243931); Green Park (2242016, 2243753); Kalinga (2242067); Sea Pearl (2242556/7); Rohini (2242309); Swosti (2242453, 2242455). There are budget hotels also, with tariffs starting at Rs. 250.

Other places to visit:
Make Gopalpur your base, and travel by road to Barakul (60 km) on the edge of Chilka Lake, Taptapani (75 km), Taratarini (30 km), and Bhairavi Panchuma (30 km).