Conversation on a cool eve

God seems to have chosen some real feel-good moments and opportunities for revelation(s) for me at the most unexpected times, and from unexpected quarters. 

A very close friend of mine was coming down from the national capital on a short visit over the last (long) weekend. So there we were in the car, en route to the station to pick her up. Daughter was in the back seat while the husband was sitting next to his best chauffeur-cum-spouse. 

Time: 9.30 p.m.

It was a pretty cool drive on a cooler night with a cooler breeze and the coolest company. Of course, the car wasn't really cool so suddenly senior S (SS) turned around and encountered junior S (JS) in a semi-serious tone.

SS: Do you think we should buy a bigger and better car?

JS: I don't know nanna... I'm very small (Of course she means 'young'). You should only decide no! Why are you asking me? 

SS: Because I want to know your opinion. So since I'm asking you, tell me what do you think.

JS: We can buy a bigger car but we should keep the bike also. 

Before SS could say anything, I intervened and said, "Of course, we're going to keep the bike and this car as well! So... what do you think?"

JS: No amma... we shouldn't do that. If we want to buy another car, we'll have to sell this one.

SS: Why S... we don't have to sell this car to buy another. We can have both the cars and the bike as well.

JS: No... if we sell this car then somebody who wants a car will buy it and use it. And then there will be one car less on the road. That means less traffic.

SS: (Thoroughly astonished by the logic) Hmmm... okay!

JS: It will also mean some petrol can be saved. We should help save petrol no!

Now, can you actually beat that logic?

SS: Very good! And all that is fine! But what kind of car should we buy?

JS: I don't mind any car in which I can sleep comfortably in the back seat... because I'm sleepy right now (giggling). Goodnight!

Seriously, I can't remember if I ever analyzed a problem with such complicated thought process and came up with a solution in less than a few seconds. And that too when I was barely nine... May you have a good night my little girl, and many more such good thoughts! Amen!

Between now and forever!

I had always read, and believed, that love is an ephemeral feeling. It's strong one moment and gone the next. And so sometimes I even have a doubt whether it's true to say "I love you forever"... (like the protagonist of the Telugu movie Orange says); "I love you now" is the right phrase, I guess, in these tricky times! 

Also I somehow used to think you can only love people, or pets at the most! But last night was a shocking revelation for me - when I was shedding copiously bitter tears for something less valuable than life! Then I tried recollecting when was the last I cried for/ over material possession(s), and I could hardly count 10 instances - and most of them belonged to a different age and era (read when I was a child)!

• When I lost my favorite pencil at school
• When one of my artificial earrings (a gift from a cousin) fell into a drain and I knew my dad was never going to buy me another pair as I was allergic to metals other than silver and gold :(
• When an ice-cream vendor "stole" my 10-paise coin and refused to give me ice gola :-/
• When my brother broke my toy in anger
• When I lost my engagement ring soon after marriage :P
• When I lost two of my precious rings (a pearl one bought with my scholarship money and a diamond one bought by hubby dear on my first birthday after marriage)

I think that's about it. I didn't even shed a tear when there was a big dent on my brand new car within a week of taking it out. I didn't feel bad when we had to sell the same car a couple of years later. I don't remember suffering silently about disposing of our first flat in Hyderabad as I realized we'll not be able to go back there ever again - my daughter's corporate school and our respective offices were located at a pretty convenient distance from our new rented apartment.

However, I do remember a few instances where I cried into my pillow through the night - sometimes for nights together. The incidents almost always were related to a sense of loss - a relationship, a to-be-born, a sibling, a parent. Or when I had a serious fight/ argument with someone that made me cry out in helplessness and frustration.

But those were about differently difficult and complicated things, and revolved around a loved one. And this reason was different. It was all about a brick-and-mortar-and-four-walls structure which we were thinking of putting up for sale. I had hardly spent a year in that place. Still... just the thought made me nervous and experience the same sense of loss all over again!

I guess it's not because of a return of love for material things but more because my subconscious mind sends me a warning signal - of an impending break of a bond/ a strong tie... Hmmm and why not! The house is my only connection with the city I was born in, spent my childhood, adolescence and the prime of my adulthood, made friends, had relatives, got married, had a child, saw things that are good or bad, witnessed growth and destruction spanned over 35 years - both in terms of personal life and the city itself.

Can you really be so possessive about some silly material possession that you stop caring for the person sitting next to you, trying to reason out with you and comfort you? Not really. It's surely not about the four walls... it's about the bonds that are set to break. Sad but true... and I'm "human" after all :)

And precisely for that - for reminding me of my love for the city, my affection for my friends, and my human(e) personality - I love you forever my sweet abode! And it's adieus - sooner or later!